Asalamu Alaikum!

Stagnant

I’ve been feeling a little depressed lately and I just can’t shake it off. It started when I moved to Toronto. I was moving back with my mother and the rest of the family. Also starting a new job with the government. This is exactly what I was waiting for – a great job in a great city.

Although everything seem to be dandy, there was this huge void I couldn’t fill. It was eating at me and I just sat there and witness my happiness wither away.

I have a family member that is just bad – I mean, a low-down dirty scoundrel. This time she has managed to dig her way to the pit of hell and the family are still throwing life jackets at her. She screws up – its ok. She breaks international law – its ok. She a terrible human in every sense of the word and….ITS OK!!! Why is it f’ing ok? Here I am working to be the best person I can be and not a single hand out. Not that I’m asking for such, but I don’t even get acknowledged. I think a portion of my sadness comes from doing so well in life i.e academically, socially and in a bunch of other areas and not having success in my family’s eyes. Why do life’s fcuk ups have it so damn easy? Listen family, I would like a high five once in a while damnit!

May be I’m suffering from my quarter-life crisis. You know when you’ve completed school and you’re meant to find a job…..not for some reason you feel like you don’t belong anywhere? I don’t know anymore.

I feel like this post is all over the place. MY MIND IS ALL OVER THE PLACE!

To make things worse…..I won’t be pursuing my Masters degree because I have to look after children while their parents fly out and rescue the scum I spoke of earlier. How fcuking insulting!

I feel like shit…..

NW

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